Walk in the Woods with apologies to Bill Bryson

Decided to be a bit adventurous today and take a late afternoon walk through the woods nearby to Haruru Falls. Guide book and signs rated it as easy. With my new walking shoes and back pack  in place I set out confident in the task at hand.  The day before I had visited the Kauri forest on the west coast. That adventure was designed for elderly ladies with perms as it was all boarded walk ways with well appointed benches a long the way and a cafe in the car park with flush toilets. How hard could an easy trail be?
Damn- forgot the water bottle and the temp is 33 degrees. Oh well soldier on- the book and sign said the walk easily completed in one hour. There is no option for quiet reflection in this forest as every cricket and bird was clicking, screeching , humming or skittering the whole way. Calmed myself routinely with the reminder that there is nothing poisonous in NZ or so my Dad told me many years ago. Should I run across a kiwi in the underbrush I would have likely peed my pants as it was sounding distinctly like a Victorian insane assylum on a full moon in their . Diverted down a side trail which lead to the river. Dropped my car keys in the mud when opening up the back pack to get my camera to take a picture. By this point insects had arrived( surprising the country is fairly insect free). Thoughts of Lyme disease now added to my tension. Would a Canuck doctor be able to diagnose any weird illnesses that may lie latent several months after being bitten by some antipodean flying creature? Thank god the bugs are small- could definitely never do Australia where everything is the size of a small dog with wings. Anyway, did not take head with the mud and the car key issue as I stepped sprighly into a swamp of oozing mud thinking it a short cut back to the trail. Shoe was nearly lost in the gumbo. Squelched my way for another 45 minutes to the falls. Though beautiful - not worth the agony of the forest walk. Discovered at the falls a paved path which took me back to the car park in 10 minutes with no distressing animal interventions. Reaffirms my belief that nature is best viewed on the Discovery Channel with a  good glass of Cabernet.